We want to move. I've said this so many times over the past year, but we do. But we keep getting hung up on the same roadblocks. Mostly- confusion as to where. The dichotomy comes into play; on one hand, I love being so close to Portland, Maine. I have lived in or around the area for nearly 4.5 years now. I've made friends here, grown closer with old friends who live here. Gabe has a good job here, and I love the convenience of being so close to stores, and being able to have variety in that sense. A nice variety of good quality restaurants, bars, tea and coffeehouses. Entertainment. Resources. Good healthcare. Meditation group. Yoga studios. We are also very close to several beaches. With all this being said... why would we want to move?
Well. It isn't cheap. Homes are expensive, taxes are high. Gabe spends the majority of his awake time away at work. And we don't even own a home yet. We crave a simpler life, in some ways. We dream of having a small vegetable garden, a workshop, a nice yard enclosed with protective trees, down a dirt road in the country. I can envision ourselves making more of the things we now buy, being more sustainable, being less materialistic. I don't want to forage for the things I need at big box stores. I want to be able to make things, learn so much, and be able to teach them to Rhys. Maybe I'm being a romantic idealist. The prospect of making all new friends, an all new network, makes me feel uncomfortable because I have such a great one now, and it wasn't exactly easy to cultivate. I know I would be lonely for them.
But not making a choice, is still a choice. And right now we are choosing to be here.
It's not like there aren't country-ish settings around here, but again. Not cheap.
And so, back around the circle again. I don't know. I keep thinking I'll know when I know, but it keeps not happening. Don't want to force it, also don't want to miss it. Ya know?
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