new direction

What do I have to write about? What do I have to share. (conscious punctuation). I feel like nothing, but there’s stuff inside of me that wants to get out so here we are. A blog about nothing, a blog about everything. I am a 30 year old woman. I am married to a man and have two kids. I live in the northeast u.s.a. I recently moved to my hometown from the largest metropolitan area in the state. Adjusting is still happening and I am surprised by it in spite of myself. I am learning that things can happen swiftly, quickly, but that we can play catch up with it for some time. For instance, having a new baby. It’s chaotic. It shakes up your entire household, all the beings in it. Routines, relationships, standings. The baby arrives quickly, but the adjustment period lasts. You think it is a bump in the road before things return to normal, but in fact a new normal now exists that you need to adjust to.

Back to moving. It happened swiftly. There was an interview and job offer within days of one another. Less than three weeks later we were moving into our new rental, by virtue of a very helpful person. In those three weeks, one of my kids broke their arm. He then started kindergarten a week later. Less than a year earlier, he became a big brother. Changes happening swiftly, processing after the fact. Adjustment.

It’s been nearly seven months now, since we moved. The cast was long ago taken off. A school routine has been established, not without many bumps. A work routine. These routines are the scaffolding of our lives. Everything else works around it. We grasp at the routines and try to create our new normal around them.

A Little Oregon

From the end of May, 2012... Just a few photos, mostly taken in transit. So lovely and lush there. I've wanted to visit that nook of the States for so long, and it felt so good to be there. :)


A tunnel!

Intermittent rain

Along the Columbia Gorge

made here

Who doesn't love an astronaut?

Until next time!

Musings on Gemini and Cancer

Signs going through- where did Gemini go? So fun so fast so head spinning! Is it like that after having a Gemini in your life for so long then leaving, for whatever reason? And now cancer.... already more subdued, introspective, plus the moon and mercury... my heads spinning in a different direction. Cue existential crisis.
Literally this morning /early afternoon was great for me. Was in a great mental space, things were going my way even tho I was just doing everyday things like going to work. Noted it was the new moon, but didn't have the exact time. And then I got home from work and that mental space left and since I was back from Zen Ing out at work and back where I have to you know Then I checked the moon and yep, 2* cancer. Felt anxious and stressed. Did a cooldown ritual ;) feel a little better but mostly I am going to fight this urge to just take a Xanax ;) heh...
It's really nice outside right now. Belts of Venus are setting. Hear birds chirping, some people talking in the distance but I can't make out what they're saying, and see the small trees and leaves starting to silhouette against the early evening sky.... beautiful June in maine. Happy almost summer solstice :)

here and there and here

I miss being on an airplane... even though I don't especially love flying, and the process of actually getting on a plane can be a hassle, I'm missing it pretty hard today. #vacationletdown. Kind of stings. But also makes me look forward. I want to put some photos up on here. Of the travels. Not a tour of Europa but a tour of the western US, at least part of it. : ) Miss it... Love the west. Happy to be back here, to keep the travel bug happy we are planning several short weekend-type trips, to other parts of Maine, Vermont, NYC, maybe even Quebec City if we're lucky. I just have this vision of us being a little family who does cool stuff. Vague, but that's essentially it. Work is a means to an ends, but not necessarily just that. Of course, I would like to have a set, defined career where I make my money, but for me, anyway, I think that will come gradually. I feel like I'm still in the learning stage, even though I'm no longer partaking in a formal education. Although I do miss school sometimes, but I wish I could go to my own ideal school which would have credit hours in astrology, astronomy, space in general, physics, acting/theatre, poetry, music lessons and theory. And on how to grow things, how to forage for food, meditation groups, yoga and nature walks and running and biking, parenting classes, photography, art of all kinds, medicine and health and wellness, psychology and dream analysis and learning at communicating more effectively.... Can that please exist? And can it be affordable? Just a thought. I'm growing sleepy... I think I will go sleep now. Long, but fulfilling, day, but after drinks and other things I just want to snuggle up in my comfy bed and go off to sleep. So, I think that's what I will do. Xs and Os.

astro shit

*My dudes watching last weekend's Scorpio full moon... yay for warm nights!

*Today I'm going to babble about astrology. Think I will cross-post to wandering stars, and also add some other notes there. Or maybe here too?

*To better understand astrology and myself... I have began keeping a celestial journal, of sorts. (I ordered one on Amazon, and I was so happy to get it in the mail today... but I ordered the 2011 edition instead of the 2012! d'oh... but in my defense, why were they even selling 2011 anymore?!) So, I will return that one, and will get a 2012 one, but until then just have my own.

*I am focusing on the transits of the moon. I was reading on skywriter (amazing site, btw) that, because the moon runs through all the signs so quickly, you can observe how you feel when certain aspects are made with your personal planets. Get an idea of how you're affected. Like, when I felt insane the other night? Oh look, Scorpio moon directly opposing my natal moon in Taurus, in the 8th house. And it passed quickly, like the moon through degrees, but when it was exact, it was intense. Feeling inadequate, lost, unloved. I found this out after the fact, by the way. There's a quote about this, about not being controlled by the stars, but rather being freed by them... Astrology helps me like that. Helps me to understand certain influences, and that even when I'm having a crazy Caroline moment, that it's temporary, and I can choose how to behave... or something.

*Anyway, today my 3rd and 6th houses are really being activated by the moon. Communications, work, writing. I've been studying for about an hour, got my journal all organized, cleaned around the house, story time with the babe, who is now napping. Talked to and firmed up plans with an old friend I haven't seen in... years! :) Moon on my Mars today, in the 3rd=action from communication, with an old friend=very Sagittarian. :)

gray day

i'm blocked. i officially am suffering from writer's block. and thinking about it is making it worse. so, i'm just going to put up some photos. it's a wonderful drizzly, dewey day out here in maine, kept staring at the grass earlier while we were outside earlier nature-walking it/chasing the cat:

and really, i just liked the moss on this tree, and i'm really excited about seeing crazy things like leaves on trees. spring is amazing.

also, i think my blog is being eaten by some weird russian website (according to my stats, anyway), but if there are any real humans reading this who would like to share some tips about overcoming writer's block, please... share away. :)

saturday.

spring. i like it.

it's been a good day... sisterly visits and playing outside with my little guy. 

he's pretty into shadows.

(I think he may have been pointing at the moon, which was visible, if not, then a toy truck. can't totally remember.)

also liked the dandelions.

(side note: i may try to make dandelion tea. also, i wonder about the greens. i've seen them at markets/whole foods, but the greens there are WAY bigger than these ones. something to research? i wonder if they're yummy...)

and here's a green(!) tree and some blue sky. the rain we got that one day last week totally transformed everything to bright colors. soon i'll be at the beach. soon.

Tried to find butterflies/bumblebees, to no avail. I think it was too windy for them...

It's a Leo moon as of mid-day today. Love yourself, but don't be arrogant to others. Venus in Gemini... has anyone else been giving into buying material things for others (okay, and myself a little bit too.)? Just me? 

Still reading the blood type diet book. Pretty interesting so far, but some of the foods that are on my "avoid" list... I just don't know. I think it's gonna be more like, "be more conscious of when you eat this. maybe more sparingly?" heh. Will write a review when I'm finished with it, hopefully by weekend's end...